Week 30
Surprise -- Bad News

When I weighed in the last time, after my bad Sunday, I had a problem with the place where I record my weight. So I couldn't actually record it then. I thought I knew what I was talking about when I said I had a zero loss. In reality, it turns out that I had a 1.5 pound gain. And today, when I weighed myself, I had another 1/2 pound gain.

I'm surprised. Not so much with last week, because I knew I had blown it. And I have eaten out a lot since then, and had trouble that night with bread sticks. But I didn't expect to have a gain this week.

I have been feeling a bit plateaued lately, but until today I didn't KNOW that I was on one. It's probably a really good thing that I've been doing so much work on my journaling since signing up on e-tools. Remember that I had a feeling that if I would tighten up just a bit, I would resume my weight loss? Well, that was right on, and it is a bit strange now to realize that I had just started a plateau when I felt that.

I'm not worried about gaining 2 pounds in the grand scheme of things. These have not been my best two weeks. I am a bit surprised to realize that what I was doing caused a gain because apart from that bad Sunday, I thought everything was going fine. One thing I have noticed is that I've been slacking off on the water, so for the last few days I've been drinking a lot of it.

On the very positive side, I've been eating a lot of salad, not because I thought I should, but because I wanted them. Yep, I think I'm becoming a real salad eater in the last couple of months. That is a good thing, and a real sign to me that my lifestyle change is really happening. My taste in foods is changing. I'm starting to really like healthy things. All of this is very good news, and very encouraging to me.

So, now that I know things have been in the crapper for a couple of weeks, what am I going to do? Nothing special, just follow the program to the letter for a while, to make sure that any sloppiness or laziness disappears from my daily living. Heck, in a good week I'll lose that 2 pound gain, and very soon I know I'll be reporting weekly weight LOSSES again. Maybe as soon as next week.

As I look over my weight loss chart, I can see the the pace of my weight loss has really dropped off since I stopped going to meetings. Coincidence? Probably not. It's not that the meetings were so magical, because I was bored with most of them. But I think that since I stopped going, I've also slipped into a way of living where my food hasn't had the same kind of attention as before. That's what I mean by sloppiness and laziness in my daily living. I think it is time for me to really recommit to my goals, and resume my former diligence about food matters.

I also notice that my weight loss slow down also coincides with the last issue of The Skinny. Another coincidence? Probably not. I think writing those newsletter was helping ME more than I realized. I'll see how my schedule looks, and resume them ASAP.

I Can Do It -- And You Can Do It

It takes a lot of work to change your life, not just changing your weight. Any personal change takes work and commitment. And yet, it seems that the smallest bit of effort I made very quickly snowballs so that a little effort really has a pretty big effect. Watching myself change my body has given me a sense of personal power that has been wonderful. As you know from my posts here, I've been amazed at the feeling I've had that I can take on any project, that I can make any change in my life. I really believe that is true. Not only can I take myself to my goal weight (whatever that is!) but I can make other changes in my life. Just because I have never been successful in this area before doesn't mean that I can't make my life into what I want. I'm willing to do the work to get there, and I'm willing to stand firm when the going is tough, because I believe in my heart that I can do this. And I am doing it. This is just a minor course adjustment now. I'm back on track, and expecting great things over the next weeks and months.

Week 30
Wonderful New Recipe

I eat a lot of chicken. And this week, I found a new recipe at the Weight Watchers site that involved chicken with two of my favorite things: tequila and jalapenos. I've modified the recipe only slightly. It was so delicious, I'm glad that I made enough for another meal.

Tequila & Jalapeno Chicken Salad
Adapted from a recipe found on the Weight Watcher's website

Ingredients:
2 4oz chicken breasts, boned and skinned
1/4 red onion, chopped
1 medium jalapeno, seeded and chopped
2 garlic clove
1 tsp brown sugar
1 tsp olive oil
2 tbsp tequila
1/8 cup lime juice
[note: the remaining ingredients can be substituted with whatever salad fixings you like]
4 lettuce leaves
2 cup spring salad mix, fresh or from a bag
2 mushrooms
2 tbsp parmesean cheese
1/2 carrot sliced thin

Directions:
1. Add all ingredients except chicken and a small portion of the onion into a blender or food processor and blend into a puree.
2. Cut chicken breasts into bite sized pieces. Add puree and chicken to a container with a lid, making sure to cover the chicken with the marinade. Refrigerate several hours.
3. Remove chicken from marinate and throw away marinade.
4. Place chicken on grill and cook thoroughly.
5. While chicken is cooking, make up the salads. Add chicken to the top and serve.

Serves: 2 approximately 5 points per serving

Just a reminder: be careful handling raw chicken. Be sure to wash any utensils and the cutting board before using them for anything else. Also, you can't use the left over marinade for anything else, so make sure to throw it away.

Week 30
Oh, The Pressure

I'm sneaking a break online when I should be doing client work. It is so funny to feel like I'm sneaking, since I'm working from my home office, wearing PJs, and haven't been out of the house for two days. It is just the overwhelming sense that I have DEADLINES and that I'm behind... it makes me feel like I don't deserve to take 30 minutes out of my day to read the blogs and post. Of course I can find 30 minutes in my whole day. But I woke up late, and that started me off feeling behind, and I really AM behind of my client project, and I have other things that must be done very quickly or else there will be consequences. I'm strapped, and there is no relief in sight for a couple of weeks at least.

With everything on my mind, I keep forgetting to weigh in. I'll try to remember tomorrow morning. Maybe I should go downstairs now and pull the scales out from beside the fridge and leave it laying on the floor where I can't miss it when I go to get my breakfast and feed the kitty. (I wonder if that would actually work...)

Even with this stress, I have been taking the time to keep my food journal at WeightWatchers.com. It's going faster now that most of my food choices are already entered as favorites. I banked three points yesterday. I've got dinner marinating right now... another WW receipe. Tequilla / Jalapeno Chicken. I'm going to grill the chicken and then cut it up and put it over a huge salad. A bit of honey mustard dressing for some zing. I can't wait.

Oh, and I tried something interesting last night. Along with my lamb chop with kiwi mint sauce, I had french cut green beans from a can. I really like the fresh, but I knew that I didn't have that much time this week. So, to make the canned stuff taste better, I sprinkled in some lemon pepper, and added 1/8 tsp of ground corriander. It was fabulous! It added just a hint of new flavor to the beans, which normally have a canned veggie taste. Think about adding a bit of seasoning to make any packaged food taste just a bit better, a bit more interesting than straight from the can or box. I picked corriander because it went with the rest of my meal. And I love lemon pepper, and key lime pepper, too.

I think tomorrow's lunch may be a veggie burger!

Week 30
Trying New Things

It was an interesting week last week, and it is shaping up to be another interesting week this week, but for a different reason. Last week, I ended up eating out A LOT. For someone who hasn't been eating out, not even once a week, I did a tour de force on Phoenix restaurants last week. I made good choices, had some challenges (garlic bread!) and generally had a great time at every meal. But this week, I've got groceries and new receipes (thanks to WeightWatchers.com) and I'm ready to experiment.

Last week, I read an article on the WW site about alternatives to hotdogs and hamburgers, which I found very interesting. I haven't been eating anything like that at home, but of course, my occasional fast food meal is always a high points burger. I thought that maybe I could find a way to introduce burgers into my regular meal plans, and maybe avoid fast food altogether. What really surprised me is that the vegetarian burgers were so low. I'm not a vegetarian, and I enjoy eating meat, but I've also been exposed to some of the vegetarian burger substitutes, and I like them. To me, they are not a replacement for meat, but another type of sandwich all together. So over the weekend I bought a box of frozen garden burgers and I'm going to try them this week at home on my Foreman grill. I'll let you know how I like them.

One other interesting note: My red Ralph Lauren towel hangs by itself on a towel rack on the back of my bathroom door. I've been feeling so thin the last few days that I decided to try on the towel again. There is some change, as I expected, but nothing dramatic yet. So I'm thinking that I'll redo the pictures again in mid-September. The towel won't fit then, but the gap should be nearly closed. It's exciting!

Week 30
Adjusting To e-Tools

So far, my experiment with the Weight Watchers e-tools has been interesting, and successful. Some day, I haven't kept the journal, either because it was too much work or because I had eaten out and didn't have an exact point count for my meal. It's taking a while to get my regular foods entered into my journal, but I've been pleasantly surprised at the number of brand name items in their database. Once I get everything in once, it will be much faster as time goes on.

The strange thing, though, is that I've been carrying food cartons upstairs to my office so I can sit with them in front of the computer. I've filled up my office trash can with them! It's not a bad thing, just a bit weird to have food packaging out of the kitchen. I may need to get a larger trash container for the office if this keeps up. A small adjustment.

Week 30
My Body Feels Different

The last week, I've been experiencing the most unusual sensations. Things that caught my attention, but that I couldn't figure out. My arms, my sides, even my hips, but mostly around my waist. And then, last night I got it -- I'm feeling thinner! But how exactly does "thinner" feel from the inside? I'll try to explain. When I twist from the waist, I no longer have so much stomach and back, so what used to feel like part of me twisting inside the rest of me, now is feeling like all of me is twisting. When I move my arms around, picking things up, etc, I feel skin touching, making contact, where before they are always in contact. It's an amazing thing, actually. When I run my hands over my sides or back or legs, for example, I can feel the muscle and bone are much closer to the surface than they used to be.

This has been a miraculous discovery. After all of these weeks and more than 40 pounds, I suddenly FEEL different from the inside out. What a great thing!

Week 29
Setting Goals

As my regular visitors know, I've avoided setting goals for myself. I've really focused on the process of being healthy, and let the outcome work itself out. Except for my red towel goal, I've not set one for myself. I've not even set a goal weight, although I do have a general idea of the ballpark I expect to land in. I'm going to let my body work that out for me. I'll know the goal when I reach it -- that is my philosophy.

Well, I was doing some thinking the other night, thinking about where I've been and how I'm doing. I started doing some simple math, and I figured out approximately what my weight could be around the time I travel home for the holidays. I remembered the size that I wore the last time I weighted that amount. And somehow, in the midst of all that thinking and simple math, I came up with a goal. I believe that around Christmas I will be able to wear a size 18. Now, that isn't exactly a "normal" size, since they end at 16 for most clothing lines. But it does mean that I will be in that gray area between the regular size clothes and plus sized clothes. THAT got me all excited. And I realized that when I am able to wear a size 18, all of the clothes in my closet will be way too baggy to keep wearing. THAT was exciting, also! About that size is when I'm going to have to really buy clothes -- until then I've got enough things, even if they are a bit baggy, to keep me going. Except for underwear -- baggy panties tend to fall right off, and I don't want THAT to happen. I'm not going to buy many clothes until I reach the goal, and I'm going to try to buy things that will work even when they are a bit baggy.

The other thing that has me really excited is realizing that next spring, all of the clothes I own today will be gone, and my closets and drawers will be empty, holding only the new things. I've had overflowing closets for year because of the range of sizes I've had to keep as my weight changed back and forth a bit over the years. I can't wait to have nearly empty closets! I'm sure I'll fill them up soon enough, but I'm going to enjoy the extra space as long as I can.

Week 29
Eating Out -- A Lot!

Since January, I've cooked nearly every meal I've eaten. It's been fun. But the last week, I've eaten out so many meals, sometime both lunch and dinner in the same day. My social life is quite busy right now, and I'm enjoying it. But I'm also make excellent meal choices in restaurants. Well, with one exception. I was at an Italian place last night, and the garlic bread sticks were to die for. And they were sitting way to close to my plate. I ate 5 of them, way more than I should have. I'm doing great with chips and salsa at the Mexican places, but the garlic breadsticks did me in a bit.

I'm doing a combination of things at these restaurants. First, I'm making sure that I'm making good choices. But second, I'm trying to eat some foods that either I don't know how to make, or they are dangerous things for me to have around. Like the breadsticks last night. Even though I blew it a bit, it was much safer to have them in a restaurant than to buy some and make them at home. At home, I'm afraid I would have eaten them all! I also shared a desert the other night, so I got to have a few bites of something delicious, which is a great way to incorporate these things into my life.

At my new favorite Mexican place, On the Border, I have found a lunch special called a Border Plate which gives me half of a spinach and mushroom quesidilla with a big salad. With a bit of dressing on the side, it is more than enough for lunch, and lets me eat yummy foods. The spinach is overflowing and wonderful! (I used to love Popeye cartoons as a kid, and my mom used to get me to eat my spinach "like Popeye..." and it worked.) At some places, I've cut a line through my entre and only eated the portion I separated. I've gotten a to-go box for the rest, and enjoyed it another time.

I'm looking forward to a BIG grocery trip tomorrow to stock up on some new fruit. But I'm eating very well this week, thanks for asking!

Week 29
What Wisdom Can I Find Inside Myself?

I'm feeling pretty blah these days. There doesn't seem to be much going on inside my head, not much thoughtful living, just living. And I'm OK with that. I don't know why I'm so tired, either, but I've been napping a lot lately.

My bad news from Sunday, the thing that triggered so much stress and was my excuse for binge snacking -- well, that situation has turned around and I'm working again. Yes, for the same people. It's a long story, and even if you have the time to read it, I don't have the time (or the heart) to plod through it. I'm just happy to be working and being paid, with just a few "vacation days" off. I used the time well, for the most part. Except for eating. I used the anxiety to dig in and clean clean clean my house. I wiped down the woodwork. I scrubed the fridge. I vacuumed up and down the stairs, twice. I sorted a huge stack of magazines, and had three garbage bags of sorted out trash for the curb. I moved nearly everything around, rearranged the furniture a bit, and piled the couch with freshly washed and folded clothes that are too big for me. In fact, there are about 6 pieces of unwashed clothes in my house right now! A small miracle. But it feels great to have gotten so much done! The only room I didn't touch -- my office. The one room where I spend 80% of my waking hours. I'll start up here over the weekend.

Today I went out to do some window shopping for artwork for the messy office. I want to put up a collection of vintage style travel posters. I've come up with the cheapest way in the world to do this! I got the trick from looking at the artwork for sale at T.J. Maxx, Ross, and Marshalls. I've been out to my favorite online art places, AllPosters.com, Art.com, and Barewalls.com, and have started selecting the prints that might work for this room. I've got a strange set of colors I want to use: apple green, periwinkle blue, ambrosia, and orange. I'm using a rug from Target for inspiration. I'm using galvanized tin accessories. Here's the trick: I'm ordering the prints, and trimming off the borders. Then, I'm getting artist stretcher frames exactly the right size, stretching them with plain white canvas, and painting them black. Using spray adhesive, I'm mounting the prints to the canvas, and using an artist protective gel, painting over the surface. I've done a sample with a small print downstairs, and its a great look. It's MUCH cheaper than trying to frame them, even using poster frames.

While I was out, I tried a new fresh Mex style of restaurant, I forget the exact name. I drive past this place all of the time. I got a fajita style burrito, and had them hold the guacamole and cream cheese. I couldn't finish it, and it was delicious.

That's an idea... maybe some new foods would help me to feel out of my mental rut. I'll have to try some experimental cooking!

Well, I didn't exactly find any wisdom, but I do feel better after talking about my fun plans for the artwork! Maybe that is a good trick to remember, talk about something fun to feel better. Hmmm... not profound, but it worked.

Week 29
Bad Weekend -- Zero Loss

I'm glad I don't have to do the true confession thing very often. Sunday was bad day for me, I got sort of laid off. It's hard to explain, being in a freelance situation, but the money tree I was on ordered me to stop working immediately. That doesn't happen very often. And I didn't take it very well. I had a combination of bad things line up: I was out of groceries... I had bad news... and it was the day before my period. Yep, I ate horrible the whole day. Snacked my heart out. I was sick at my stomach at the end of the day, which matched the heartache I was feeling worrying about work and income. I know better than to worry, and I know better than to run out of groceries, and I know better than to binge snack. But I did all three.

The good news? Yes, there is good news. I didn't have very much dangerous stuff to eat. I went right back on my regular food plan today. And at my weigh-in, I had no change from last week, so whatever damage I did on Sunday, it wasn't horrible.

I'm not thinking too much about this. It's just a reminder to me that a) good habits are invaluable, b) I need to make sure that maintaining good habits remain a priority, and c) I can return to healthy living in an instant. Who knows, if there have been fresh fruit in the house, I might have snacked on that, which would have been even less harmful, and provided me with some valuable nutrition. At least I realized I could fix thing starting today, and haven't done any guilt tripping over it.

Bad days happen, even after 28 weeks and lots of success.

Week 28
Do I Miss The Foods I'm Not Eating?

Today, my blog buddy and Goddess of the Jodiverse posted pictures of Krispie Kremes and invited everyone to help themselves. They did look delicious, and they reminded me of my many trips across town to one of the new Krispie Kremes that opened in Phoenix a couple years ago. I used to stop by once a month or so and pick up some of them, savoring them for a couple of days. Truth be told, sometimes my entire daily food intake might be three or four donuts. But once I started WW, and I discovered how many points there are in my beloved snacks, I knew KK were part of my past.

Every so often, when I'm in the neighborhood where they are located, I think about them. I haven't been tempted to stop, but I have thought about what a delightful experience it was to eat just one of them. I always figured that I would have another one in my life. It's not like I'm recovering alcoholic who can't afford to indulge in a single drink. With the whole concept of the points system, we can still squeeze just about anything into a day's food plan, provided we are willing to make the surrounding sacrifices. I figured that rather than a whole donut, I could have a few bites, maybe a half, as a special treat. And honestly, I figured that a few bites would be enough.

So, all of this has me thinking about the foods that I no longer eat, the foods that are no longer part of my daily food options. Do I miss them? So I present to you the list of foods I've given up and how I feel about them.

• Krispie Kreme donuts -- As much as I used to love them, I can honestly say that I've never had a craving for them since giving them up. Maybe someday I'll have a few bites of one, but I really don't miss them.
  
  
• Iced cafe mocha -- When I discovered how many points are in one of these guys, it wasn't hard to say goodbye. I'm not much of a coffee drinker, and I don't even like chocolate very well. But I do believe that coffee with chocolate makes both of them taste better. It's just a taste I can live without. I might indulge in one sometime, part of a glass perhaps, but I really don't miss it.
  
  
• Bagels -- I can't tell you how many bagels I would eat in a week, 4 to 6 on average. I used to live right by an Einstein Bros. place, and love their sun-dried tomato and basil toasted with plain cream cheese. But checking in at half a day's points, it is something else that I gave up easily. While I loved the taste, I think this was a part of my eating because it was so convenient and easy. Another food I am living just fine without, thank you very much.
  
  
• Dairy Queen -- I could just list the place without being specific, but my favorite indulgence is the Blizzard. I was on a cherry kick for the last year, only getting the smallest size. But still, there are enough points to gag a horse. Another item I haven't missed, even in the Phoenix summer I haven't wanted one. I would not do this anyway. I would have a serving of sorbet from my grocery store instead. Much fewer calories and less fat per serving, and still cold and refreshing.
  
  
• Hot Tamales -- Yep, the red hot movie theatre candy was on my list of frequently consummed foods. I don't snack on any sort of candy any more, and as much as I like them, if I never have another one I won't miss them.
  

Things that I had given up but found a way to bring back in safely:

• French Toast -- I used to stop at Coco's and have their French Toast as a Sunday brunch treat, until I discovered that there are enough points for person at goal weight for a day and half. I make my own version of french toast at home now, and I love it. Especially since I add a bit of vanilla to the egg mixture, and sprinkle it with cinnamon and a small amount of real maple syrup, not the diet stuff. And then cover it with fruit. It's fabulous, and I can do it for under 10 points. It's a special treat meal I fix for myself occasionally on the weekend.
  
  
• Big Macs -- I used to eat many meals at Mickey Ds, I hate to admit. It was fast, warm, and tasty. I have had a couple of them since starting WW, on days when I was out and wasn't able to get home to fix a lunch. I've discovered that if I only eat them occasionally, like once every 6 weeks, they actually taste better to me. It's a boatload of points, ordered now without the fries and without a Coke. I chew it very slowly and savor every bite.
  
  
• Cheesecake -- I really like this stuff. Twice since starting WW, I've been to the temple of cheesecake, the Cheesecake Factory, and ordered a slice. Each time, I've eaten about 4 bites. The first bite is the most wonderful. And then I have them take the rest of it away. I don't let it sit in front of me, for fear that my hands will take on a life of their own. I've found a way to safely indulge in this one.
  
  
• peanut butter -- this used to be on my NO list, but I soon realized that it is a great source of protein, something my daily food plan was lacking. So this one has returned to my life in the form of an open sandwich usually on a half a piece of bread, something I have some days for a mid-moring snack when I've only had fruit for breakfast.
  

I really don't have any food that I want that I don't let myself have. If there was something I discovered that I wanted, and the craving didn't pass, I would indulge myself with it, in a controlled way. A few bites would probably satisfy me. In general, my philosphy is that I can eat anything I want, as long as I make the appropriate sacrifices in my daily food plan.

The other thing that I believe helps me to avoid these kinds of cravings is that I'm eating a wide variety of foods, and everything has been so tasty. I've discovered that seasonings and low points sauces really make the difference about how satisfying my food is. I am satisfied with what I'm eating every single day, and that takes away the power of cravings.

Week 28

I've lost 41.5 pounds!

Adjusting With e-Tools

You know those commercials where they flash the disclaimer messages at the bottom, things like "professional driver on closed course" and "do not attempt?" This log entry officially has one of those warning messages. And not because I'm about to do some X-treme dieting maneuvers. Becuase I'm about to confess that I don't follow all of the Weight Watchers guidelines and I don't want anyone to use me as their reason for falling off the WW bandwagon.

You might think that a person like me, a person with not one, not two, but FOUR online journals (each with a different focus) would love to keep a food journal. After all, I teach journaling workshops, I run a journal writing workshop website, and as everyone knows, I write in my online journals just about every day, even when I'm swamped with work. I seem like the kind of person DESIGNED to keep a food journal. But I don't. I don't keep a food journal.

Oh, I started out keeping one. For about the first month, I religiously wrote down everything I ate, furiously calculating the points values of every bite I took, of every container of food in my kitchen, and many of the items on my local grocery shelves. It was an educational experience. But after about a month, I got bored with it. I was writing down mostly the same things over and over, and adding new ones only after calculating and recalculating the points. I picked up my journal again for a few days when my weight loss took away some of my daily points, just to make sure I had adjusted accurately. But mostly, I don't journal.

There are several reasons I can think of immediately why this is true. First, I find all of the math in it very boring. Don't misunderstand, I love math. I was working on a Master's degree in pure math in my late 20s. I love math. But this kind of math totally bores me. Plus, I have run my whole program looking to the future, a future where I don't envision myself writing down every single bite of food. That seems too compulsive to me, too focused on food and weight and diet. That's not the image I have of my future, of the person I'm becoming day by day, week by week, thanks to the work I'm doing.

I don't mind if YOU keep a journal. In fact, if keeping a journal helps you, I'll even take the time to remind you about it. I believe whatever helps is valuable, and I don't care what that might be for you.

So, if you don't keep a journal, either, and you have been feeling guilty -- DON'T THINK YOU ARE ALONE. Not all of us hold the party line. Just be responsible for your weight loss, and be prepared to pick up a journal again if you find that things aren't working so well when you aren't looking at them.

I decided that I would try the new online journal that is part of my Weight Watchers Online membership. It is very slick. But the real reason that I'm trying it is because I've got this sneaking suspicion that my weight loss would be closer to the 2 pounds a week WW thinks is OK if I were more careful of my points. I have suspected for a couple of weeks that I'm being sloppy with my points, and that just being over a couple of points several days of the week could be the reason that my losses have been slightly below what I want. So I've made a committment to keep a food journal until I get to the bottom of this, and until I prove to myself that I've got enough of a focus on points that I am accurately keeping them in my head. I imagine I'll be doing this for a few weeks at least, especially since I'm about to lose daily points again thanks to my ongoing weight loss.

Week 28
I've Done It

For weeks now, I've been skipping my WW meeting, weighing myself in, and seeming to do just fine. I had thought I would return, if only to get a ribbon for losing 40 pounds and getting signed up on e-tools on the WW site. I didn't know what I was going to get around to this. But today, in my inbox, I got my regular email from WW and they are announcing a special deal for WW Online members. That's the plan for people who aren't attending meetings in person, but are doing everything online. The cost is only $15 a month once you get signed up, compared wo the $48 I was spending on meetings. With the special deal, available if you pay for the first three months in advance, you save $25, which is almost the setup cost. I did it. I signed up with WW Online. And I've spent some time today adding recipes, starting my journal, and exploring a bit. I'm really glad I've done it, and I'm thrilled that I saved some money, too. This deal lasts through the end of July. If you have been thinking about doing it, this is a good time.

Week 28
A Bit of a Meringue

On Saturday, I did indeed play hookey with my friend Kim. We went shopping, tried a fabulous new Mexican restaurant for lunch, and after some more shopping, came back here to watch two movies on my DVD player. Kim brought me a bit of a surprise -- a container of the Miss Meringue lemon cookies. What a treat they are! If you haven't tried them, and you like meringue, try them. They are about 2 inches in diameter, a firm dolop of meringue, and about a half point each. The only problem I have with them is that they are a bite of nothing, just a bit of sweetness, and it seemed to trigger my sweet tooth a bit. So be careful if you are susecptible to such things.

I've got more fresh fruit salad today with cherries, grapes, pineapple chunks, and bits of fresh mango. I added my usual peppermint, and this time, a dash of cinnamon. All on a bed of 1/4 cup vanilla yogurt, and sprinkled with 1 tbs of wheat germ for protein and a bit of crunch. This afternoon, I'm going to make up the last of the cherries into a fruit salsa... thanks to LunaLee's suggestion (see the last post comments!). I've got chicken planned for dinner tonight and will have the salsa with that. I can hardly wait. I'll post the recipe I use later!

I forgot to weigh in this morning... seems I've been forgetting that a lot lately. I think that is a good sign, though. I'm glad I'm not focused on measuring the results. I hope that instead I'm focusing on living my life in a healthy way.

I love it when my morning goes smoothly. Today was a perfect example. I didn't wake up until after 6, about two hours late, because the power was off here during the night, and apparently my battery backup isn't working! [note to self: replace battery!] Not a big deal. I woke up after the sky was light, and got to watch the first streams of sunlight burst over the horizon into my room, before I got up, shut the blinds, and pulled the lined curtains shut to keep the morning heat out of my house. The kitty was sleeping with me, and started purring when I started petting him. We went downstairs, and while I was sorting the dishes left over from yesterday, I fed him from a new can of catfood, salmon flavor. He has been so picky lately, refusing to each canned can food, wanting TUNA instead. I don't give him tuna very often, but once I did, it turned him off the cat food. But this morning, he devoured his morning "snackers" -- a moist food supplement to his dry food diet. I made my fruit salad, and put it back into the fridge to chill while I did the dishes and picked up a bit. Now, here I am, sitting at my computer with a bowl of fruit salad in front of me, a glass of water (my first for the day), and the fan running in the background. It's only supposed to be 107 here today, but with high humidity (right now it is 65%). You don't know HOT until you have 110 degrees with 80% humidity day after day. I will shoot the next person who says "but it's a dry heat"--an urban legend that is absolutely NOT TRUE. While I'm myth busting, here is another one: traditional southwest colors are NOT PASTELS. Get over yourselves. Can you imagine ranchers choosing pastel colors? Or Native Americans looking for accessories for the hogan in light pink and coral? No way!

It rained here last night! I haven't found the exact amount, but it was a glorious thunderstorm with rain. The lightening was fun to watch, too. This is the first real rain in my area since before Christmas! And we are expecting rain through Friday. I'm very grateful!

On a personal note: I promised to dance naked the first time it rained. I had thought I should warn my neighbors so they don't accidently look out at the wrong time. I don't think anyone saw me!

Week 27
The Fruits of my Labors

I'm sitting here at about 5 am, enjoying the last of the fruit salad from yesterday, down to just grapes and cherries... yum. The little bit of mint with the slightly tart pineapple juice (unsweetened) is really fabulous. I had the salad with every meal yesterday. It was really great with my lunch sandwich. In fact, lunch was my favorite meal of the day. I had a sandwich on honey grain bread with slices of turkey breast, ham, and pastromi, a whole leaf of lettuce, some slivers of onion, a bit of banana pepper, and mustard. Along with the fruit, I had one ounce of kettle style potatoe chips in jalapeno flavor, and a huge glass of my favorite spicy tea over ice. All for under 10 points. Quite a splurge, and really wonderful.

I've discovered that I have too much fruit in my fridge. I bought a small amount of many things, and I guess I should have known better. I think I'm going to have to adjust my grocery shopping a bit, making two trips a week, one big one, perhaps almost like I do now, and one small and quick one to pick up additional produce and other perishables. For example, I only bought 2 mangos, but I haven't had either one yet. I got 4 banana, which now I see is 2 too many. 4 apples, because I always run out of apples before I want to. The strawberries are gone, but I've still got most of the bag of grapes and bag of cherries. I see more fruit salad in my life this weekend. Maybe I'll freeze some of the cherries for another time.

Today I'm playing hookey. Most people call this taking a weekend, you know, where you don't work and you don't feel guilty. Not me. I'm taking one day, fully aware that I could be working, and that my client would appreciate me working. I'll return to working tomorrow. One day weekends are a typical thing for me. That is why I'm so looking forward to having some serious time off, a couple of weeks. It may happen at the beginning of August now. Don't misunderstand, being freelance I'm grateful to have work lined up. I just also love a bit of downtime.

My mom "invited" me to come and spend August at her house, away from the Arizona heat. I don't know if I will be able to get away for very long, but I'm thinking that maybe by mid-August I will be able to leave here to work from a computer at her house. And of course, Mr. Skooch will be coming with me.

Week 27
Seasonal Eating

I got up at 3 this morning, a bit before my alarm went off, and fixed myself the most glorious fruit salad which I'm eating while I'm typing. Here is my off-the-cuff recipe:

Ingredients:
1 Fuji apple, cut into bite sized bits -- a good eating apple because it is firm, dense and just a bit sweet
1 banana, sliced
15 cherries, halved and pitted
25 grapes
15 pineapple chunks (from a can)
10 strawberries, cut in half
1 kiwi, sliced (very much like the banana)
pineapple juice (from the chunks can)
1 tbs almond slices -- optional
3 peppermint leaves, fresh minced -- optional

Directions:
1. Open the pineapple chunks. Pour a small amount of the juice into a shallow bowl. Add the chunks to the mixing bowl.
2. Cut the apple and banana, dipping the pieces into the pineapple juice before adding them to the mixing bowl.
3. Cut the strawberries, cherries and kiwi, and add to the mixing bowl.
4. Measure the almond slices and place on a cutting board, cutting into slivers before adding to the mixing bowl.
5. Mince the peppermint leaves, add to the mixing bowl.
6. Stir the ingredients. Chill before serving.

Yields: about 6 cups of fruit salad.
I'll figure out the exact points later, after the math part of my brain wakes up. But this should be about 1 point per serving (1 cup).

While I was making this delicious treat for myself, I realized that I have seasonal eating patterns. Thanks to the miracles of world-wide markets, refridgerator shipping, and the strong US dollar, my neighborhood grocery store has all kinds of fruit year round. There is more of it now, of course, with things here in season, and the prices are much better for US grown fruits than the ones from South America in the winter. But it isn't economics that drives my seasonal eating... it's the temperature. One of the ways that I cope with summer in Phoenix is that I fix mostly cool meals for myself. This means I have a lot of sandwiches, finger foods, and salads this time of year. I never use the oven from mid-May through mid-September. Thankfully, I have a George Foreman grill to fix the occasional warm meal without heating up the whole house. It's an interesting realization.

I've been doing some experimenting this week. I make so many sandwiches this time of year, I decided to switch my bread from this diet white with 1 point per slice, to a hefty whole grain that is 3 points for two slices. It is thicker, firmer, and it tastes wonderful. It's a good use of a point. I also discovered a couple of weeks ago that adding mushrooms to a sandwich adds bulk for very few points, making the sandwich more satisfying. It's not that I'm a huge mushroom fan, it was just an experiment that went well.

Here's an example of one that didn't go so well. I thought I would try adding some cheese to my sandwiches to add some fat. I had been trying to balance my macronutrients (fats, carbs, and protiens) and realized that I'm low in fats. I'm not a huge cheese fan, but again, I thought I would try it. I wanted to add some pepper jack cheese, something zingy, but there wasn't a low fat version, and the regular version was too high in points. So I decided on some Monterrey Jack instead, and ended up getting the pre-packaged slices to make it easier to make sure I have accurate portions. I made the first sandwich with the cheese yesterday. About two bites in, I had to disassemble the sandwich to remove the cheese -- I hated it. Maybe I'll try adding some shredded cheese to my next salad to up the fat balance. I'll let you know how that goes!

And another experiement gone wrong: I purchased two of the Smart Choice pizzas because they can be microwaved. I tried one, and it was this rubbery mass with very little taste. I'm sure the problem was with the microwaving and not the pizza itself. I'm going to try one more microwave trick before I give up on them in there. But I do think they would be delicious in the regular oven. So at least I know they will be back in my life in September.

Keep trying new things! The surest way to get bored with your food plan is to keep eating the same things over and over!

Week 27

I've lost 41 pounds!

I've updated my weight chart, but I haven't had the time to upload the new chart to the site. I promise to get to that very soon.

I made a glorious trip to the grocery Monday morning about 5 am, and loaded up with all sorts of great things. It's wonderful to wake up and know that I've got fruit waiting for me! I've also decided to try some of the Smart Choice (Weight Watchers) pizzas because they can be microwaved. I'm not a real microwave fan, but this time of the year in Phoenix, with utility bills at $200 per month, I'm not about to heat up the house with the oven. It's been a few months since I've had a pizza, so I'm going to try it. I'll let you know how it works out.

It feels so good to have all of the groceries I love around. It's such a simple pleasure, but one that I've learned to appreciate in the last six months. It makes me feel rich, and that I live in a universe that is full of abundance. I like the changes in my life.

I promise to write more later.

Week 27
Random Things

I kept forgetting to weigh in last week. I'll get to it this week. :-)

Thanks to Formica for pointing out this article from the New York Times Magazine about diet strategies and Dr. Adkins.

A friend of mine died recently. I've written about my friendship with Linda and what I learned from her life.

I've been hibernating the last few days, crying a bit, sorting through my emotions. I haven't eaten very well. I've stayed within my points, but its' been more eating to avoid starvation than anything like preparing meals. Not well balanced, even over the course of a day, but I have had fruit and veggies. I'm off to the grocery on Monday morning to get a fresh start.

Week 26
Really Proud of Myself

For the last two weeks, I've really been taking some time to reflect on how well I've done the last six months. I'm thrilled to have lost almost 40 pounds at this point, although to be honest, I had hoped to be able to lose 10 pounds a month. From everything I have read, slower is better, so I trust that my body knows what it is doing on that point! But when I look at the attitude and behavior changes, I am pretty darn thrilled. I've learned a new way to feed myself, and how to create balanced meals. I've got a system for grocery shopping (much simpler that it was a few months ago!) and I keep the house stocked with things that are good for me. I've tried all sorts of new foods, some I've loved, others I've never tried again--but I've had an open mind. I've discovered some ingredients that really make a difference in how satisfied I am from my food, a BIG concern for me. I knew that my food was going to have to be tasty and satisfying if I was going to be able to stay on this plan, and I've done it.

For the rest of this weekend, I'm going to post small reminders for myself of things I've learned. I hope that you find them helpful, too.

• Weight Watchers cookbooks are really great resoures. I've also found fabulous recipes from other sources that I expected to be good, like Cooking Light, and some that were surprises, like BettyCrocker.com, and specialty cookbooks in the bargain bin at my local Barnes & Noble.
  
• Snacking urges hit, and it's a good idea to have safe snacking items available. I've started buying carrots for snacking, in the little bag already cut up. I keep a can of light cherry pie filling because it is sweet and one serving is only a couple of points. Microwave popcorn helps with the muchies for something crunchy and salty.
  
• I keep something interesting to drink. While I drink a lot of water, I have found a brand and flavor of tea that I love and is zero points. When I want a snack, most of the time I'm satisfied to make a pitcher of sun tea.
  
• I still drink a Coke, nearly one a day. (I'm allergic to Nutrasweet so diet anything isn't an option.) I never drink a Coke with a meal, I save them for an afternoon snack to enjoy all by itself. I savor every drop. I don't have one every afternoon, some afternoons I'm happy to keep drinking my tea.
  
• About half of the items in my grocery cart are bagged items from the produce section.
  
• I buy leaf lettuce to put on sandwiches and to add to salads. I buy my favorit salad mix, spring mix, in a bag, and supplement it with other produce items. I didn't use to like lettuce on sandwiches, but what I discovered is that I hate iceberg lettuce, and I love the leafy lettuces. I don't mind adding them to my meals.
  
• I always have celery on hand, and I add it to salads, tuna, even my sloppy joe recipe. It adds bulk and is pretty tasteless when added into something else.
  
• Mustard. It didn't use to be my favorite condiment, but because it has zero points, and because the deli style is pretty tasty, I've started adding it to nearly everything I eat. I substitute it for most of the mayo in my tuna sandwich mix. I add it to every sauce I make for meats. It's become a wonderful addition to my meals.
  
• Fruit preserves are wonderful things. They are generally whole fruit with very little or no added sweetners, making them lower in points. A tablespoon can be added to so many things: meat sauces, rice pudding, vanilla yogurt, plain salad dressing. It adds a punch with a minimum of points. I love berries, especially blackberry and raspberry. Except for their short growing season, they are expensive to purchase fresh, so I really like the fact that the preserves are inexpensive. Oh, and I didn't mention putting a tablespoon on a peanut butter sandwich!
  
• I've doubled the number of seasonings and spices in my cupboard. I've tried herbs that I had never heard of, and I like them! I add herbs and spices to nearly every recipe I try, customizing it and making more special. I've found that interesting food tastes are more satifsying to me, and are so easy to do by adding them. When I'm trying to decide what to add to a recipe, I start with a list of general guidelines for using the spices, and then, smell the spice to see if it seems compatible with my recipe. Fresh herbs are even more flavorful--I've got my little herb garden outside my kitchen door so I can add fresh chives, basil, thyme, oregano, peppermint and parsley to my meals. Fresh herbs just look beautiful in food. (If you want to experiment and develop your sense of what goes with what, try adding herbs to cans of soup. You really improve the taste of the soup, and get a chance to try new combinations.)
  
• Sometimes, just two bites of a real dessert is more wonderful than eating the whole thing. I've been known to visit the Cheesecake Factory and order a slice, and eat two or three bites of it. Yep, it's expensive if you consider the cost per bite, but it's even more expensive if you consider the points per slice! I savor the first bite like its the only bite, and then allow myself one, maybe two, more. It's a wonderful way to feel decadent and indulge a bit. (I couldn't buy a whole Sarah Lee cheesecake and trust myself to only eat a few bites if the whole thing was just sitting in my freezer.)
  

Week 26
Six Month Anniversary

As you can see from my posting schedule, part of taking care of myself has meant resting my brain, and allowing my word drought to fix itself naturally. I've been avoiding using the computer, and I've done only a minimum of writing. And it seems to be working. I'm sleeping a lot, and I'm starting to feel more alive than exhausted. I have to admit that for the last few days, I've really been out of groceries, so I've been throwing together things to eat. I'm on target with my points, but my meals have hardly been appetizing, or even well balanced. I've promised myself that I'm going to the grocery Monday so I can fix this problem.

Otherwise, it has been a bit interesting over here. I gave myself a goal for last week, to completely clean my downstairs. I am not finished, but even so, I'm excited about what I have gotten done. I've pulled everything out of the cupboards, the pantry, gotten to the bottom of the laundry (does anyone else have the bottomless pit of hand washing that somehow never seems to be finished?), and sorted out most of the last six months of filing. I didn't say I've actually FILED it, but it is sorted out and ready to be filed. I've thrown out a full gargage bag of papers in the process. I've also been through my clothes a bit more, and have pulled out other things that are now officially too big to wear. It's a great feeling. In fact, the whole process has been very healing. I would have finished it by the weekend except for the extra sleeping I've been doing. When I've been awake, I've been pretty focused on getting things done.

I'm giving myself until Friday to finish the downstairs. I'm taking off Tuesday (playing hookey with a friend) and Thursday, so that really only gives me three days to finish up. Then, I'm going to totally enjoy living in a clean and de-cluttered space over the weekend. I still need to do the same thing upstairs, but I'm going to wait until the following week to start that project. And, based on what has just happened, I'm giving myself two weeks to do that, also.

I have this amazing sense right now that I'm clearing out the skeletons in the closets, that I'm stripping everything to the bare walls. It's a great feeling. I'm taking everything out, and only putting back what I love and use and need. I'm putting almost everything else in a stack to give away. I am putting aside a very small stack of things I'm not ready to part with, and I suppose these will go into a box in the storage area when I'm done. But I'm being very picky about what will be stored, mostly because I have so little storage space. I'm being ruthless, and it feels good.

Funny thing, this paring down is very much like what is going on with my body. My possessions and my body are both slimming down, and both are taking up less space than before. It's a good time for me.