Week 28
Do I Miss The Foods I'm Not Eating?

Today, my blog buddy and Goddess of the Jodiverse posted pictures of Krispie Kremes and invited everyone to help themselves. They did look delicious, and they reminded me of my many trips across town to one of the new Krispie Kremes that opened in Phoenix a couple years ago. I used to stop by once a month or so and pick up some of them, savoring them for a couple of days. Truth be told, sometimes my entire daily food intake might be three or four donuts. But once I started WW, and I discovered how many points there are in my beloved snacks, I knew KK were part of my past.

Every so often, when I'm in the neighborhood where they are located, I think about them. I haven't been tempted to stop, but I have thought about what a delightful experience it was to eat just one of them. I always figured that I would have another one in my life. It's not like I'm recovering alcoholic who can't afford to indulge in a single drink. With the whole concept of the points system, we can still squeeze just about anything into a day's food plan, provided we are willing to make the surrounding sacrifices. I figured that rather than a whole donut, I could have a few bites, maybe a half, as a special treat. And honestly, I figured that a few bites would be enough.

So, all of this has me thinking about the foods that I no longer eat, the foods that are no longer part of my daily food options. Do I miss them? So I present to you the list of foods I've given up and how I feel about them.

• Krispie Kreme donuts -- As much as I used to love them, I can honestly say that I've never had a craving for them since giving them up. Maybe someday I'll have a few bites of one, but I really don't miss them.
  
  
• Iced cafe mocha -- When I discovered how many points are in one of these guys, it wasn't hard to say goodbye. I'm not much of a coffee drinker, and I don't even like chocolate very well. But I do believe that coffee with chocolate makes both of them taste better. It's just a taste I can live without. I might indulge in one sometime, part of a glass perhaps, but I really don't miss it.
  
  
• Bagels -- I can't tell you how many bagels I would eat in a week, 4 to 6 on average. I used to live right by an Einstein Bros. place, and love their sun-dried tomato and basil toasted with plain cream cheese. But checking in at half a day's points, it is something else that I gave up easily. While I loved the taste, I think this was a part of my eating because it was so convenient and easy. Another food I am living just fine without, thank you very much.
  
  
• Dairy Queen -- I could just list the place without being specific, but my favorite indulgence is the Blizzard. I was on a cherry kick for the last year, only getting the smallest size. But still, there are enough points to gag a horse. Another item I haven't missed, even in the Phoenix summer I haven't wanted one. I would not do this anyway. I would have a serving of sorbet from my grocery store instead. Much fewer calories and less fat per serving, and still cold and refreshing.
  
  
• Hot Tamales -- Yep, the red hot movie theatre candy was on my list of frequently consummed foods. I don't snack on any sort of candy any more, and as much as I like them, if I never have another one I won't miss them.
  

Things that I had given up but found a way to bring back in safely:

• French Toast -- I used to stop at Coco's and have their French Toast as a Sunday brunch treat, until I discovered that there are enough points for person at goal weight for a day and half. I make my own version of french toast at home now, and I love it. Especially since I add a bit of vanilla to the egg mixture, and sprinkle it with cinnamon and a small amount of real maple syrup, not the diet stuff. And then cover it with fruit. It's fabulous, and I can do it for under 10 points. It's a special treat meal I fix for myself occasionally on the weekend.
  
  
• Big Macs -- I used to eat many meals at Mickey Ds, I hate to admit. It was fast, warm, and tasty. I have had a couple of them since starting WW, on days when I was out and wasn't able to get home to fix a lunch. I've discovered that if I only eat them occasionally, like once every 6 weeks, they actually taste better to me. It's a boatload of points, ordered now without the fries and without a Coke. I chew it very slowly and savor every bite.
  
  
• Cheesecake -- I really like this stuff. Twice since starting WW, I've been to the temple of cheesecake, the Cheesecake Factory, and ordered a slice. Each time, I've eaten about 4 bites. The first bite is the most wonderful. And then I have them take the rest of it away. I don't let it sit in front of me, for fear that my hands will take on a life of their own. I've found a way to safely indulge in this one.
  
  
• peanut butter -- this used to be on my NO list, but I soon realized that it is a great source of protein, something my daily food plan was lacking. So this one has returned to my life in the form of an open sandwich usually on a half a piece of bread, something I have some days for a mid-moring snack when I've only had fruit for breakfast.
  

I really don't have any food that I want that I don't let myself have. If there was something I discovered that I wanted, and the craving didn't pass, I would indulge myself with it, in a controlled way. A few bites would probably satisfy me. In general, my philosphy is that I can eat anything I want, as long as I make the appropriate sacrifices in my daily food plan.

The other thing that I believe helps me to avoid these kinds of cravings is that I'm eating a wide variety of foods, and everything has been so tasty. I've discovered that seasonings and low points sauces really make the difference about how satisfying my food is. I am satisfied with what I'm eating every single day, and that takes away the power of cravings.

Week 28

I've lost 41.5 pounds!

Adjusting With e-Tools

You know those commercials where they flash the disclaimer messages at the bottom, things like "professional driver on closed course" and "do not attempt?" This log entry officially has one of those warning messages. And not because I'm about to do some X-treme dieting maneuvers. Becuase I'm about to confess that I don't follow all of the Weight Watchers guidelines and I don't want anyone to use me as their reason for falling off the WW bandwagon.

You might think that a person like me, a person with not one, not two, but FOUR online journals (each with a different focus) would love to keep a food journal. After all, I teach journaling workshops, I run a journal writing workshop website, and as everyone knows, I write in my online journals just about every day, even when I'm swamped with work. I seem like the kind of person DESIGNED to keep a food journal. But I don't. I don't keep a food journal.

Oh, I started out keeping one. For about the first month, I religiously wrote down everything I ate, furiously calculating the points values of every bite I took, of every container of food in my kitchen, and many of the items on my local grocery shelves. It was an educational experience. But after about a month, I got bored with it. I was writing down mostly the same things over and over, and adding new ones only after calculating and recalculating the points. I picked up my journal again for a few days when my weight loss took away some of my daily points, just to make sure I had adjusted accurately. But mostly, I don't journal.

There are several reasons I can think of immediately why this is true. First, I find all of the math in it very boring. Don't misunderstand, I love math. I was working on a Master's degree in pure math in my late 20s. I love math. But this kind of math totally bores me. Plus, I have run my whole program looking to the future, a future where I don't envision myself writing down every single bite of food. That seems too compulsive to me, too focused on food and weight and diet. That's not the image I have of my future, of the person I'm becoming day by day, week by week, thanks to the work I'm doing.

I don't mind if YOU keep a journal. In fact, if keeping a journal helps you, I'll even take the time to remind you about it. I believe whatever helps is valuable, and I don't care what that might be for you.

So, if you don't keep a journal, either, and you have been feeling guilty -- DON'T THINK YOU ARE ALONE. Not all of us hold the party line. Just be responsible for your weight loss, and be prepared to pick up a journal again if you find that things aren't working so well when you aren't looking at them.

I decided that I would try the new online journal that is part of my Weight Watchers Online membership. It is very slick. But the real reason that I'm trying it is because I've got this sneaking suspicion that my weight loss would be closer to the 2 pounds a week WW thinks is OK if I were more careful of my points. I have suspected for a couple of weeks that I'm being sloppy with my points, and that just being over a couple of points several days of the week could be the reason that my losses have been slightly below what I want. So I've made a committment to keep a food journal until I get to the bottom of this, and until I prove to myself that I've got enough of a focus on points that I am accurately keeping them in my head. I imagine I'll be doing this for a few weeks at least, especially since I'm about to lose daily points again thanks to my ongoing weight loss.

Week 28
I've Done It

For weeks now, I've been skipping my WW meeting, weighing myself in, and seeming to do just fine. I had thought I would return, if only to get a ribbon for losing 40 pounds and getting signed up on e-tools on the WW site. I didn't know what I was going to get around to this. But today, in my inbox, I got my regular email from WW and they are announcing a special deal for WW Online members. That's the plan for people who aren't attending meetings in person, but are doing everything online. The cost is only $15 a month once you get signed up, compared wo the $48 I was spending on meetings. With the special deal, available if you pay for the first three months in advance, you save $25, which is almost the setup cost. I did it. I signed up with WW Online. And I've spent some time today adding recipes, starting my journal, and exploring a bit. I'm really glad I've done it, and I'm thrilled that I saved some money, too. This deal lasts through the end of July. If you have been thinking about doing it, this is a good time.

Week 28
A Bit of a Meringue

On Saturday, I did indeed play hookey with my friend Kim. We went shopping, tried a fabulous new Mexican restaurant for lunch, and after some more shopping, came back here to watch two movies on my DVD player. Kim brought me a bit of a surprise -- a container of the Miss Meringue lemon cookies. What a treat they are! If you haven't tried them, and you like meringue, try them. They are about 2 inches in diameter, a firm dolop of meringue, and about a half point each. The only problem I have with them is that they are a bite of nothing, just a bit of sweetness, and it seemed to trigger my sweet tooth a bit. So be careful if you are susecptible to such things.

I've got more fresh fruit salad today with cherries, grapes, pineapple chunks, and bits of fresh mango. I added my usual peppermint, and this time, a dash of cinnamon. All on a bed of 1/4 cup vanilla yogurt, and sprinkled with 1 tbs of wheat germ for protein and a bit of crunch. This afternoon, I'm going to make up the last of the cherries into a fruit salsa... thanks to LunaLee's suggestion (see the last post comments!). I've got chicken planned for dinner tonight and will have the salsa with that. I can hardly wait. I'll post the recipe I use later!

I forgot to weigh in this morning... seems I've been forgetting that a lot lately. I think that is a good sign, though. I'm glad I'm not focused on measuring the results. I hope that instead I'm focusing on living my life in a healthy way.

I love it when my morning goes smoothly. Today was a perfect example. I didn't wake up until after 6, about two hours late, because the power was off here during the night, and apparently my battery backup isn't working! [note to self: replace battery!] Not a big deal. I woke up after the sky was light, and got to watch the first streams of sunlight burst over the horizon into my room, before I got up, shut the blinds, and pulled the lined curtains shut to keep the morning heat out of my house. The kitty was sleeping with me, and started purring when I started petting him. We went downstairs, and while I was sorting the dishes left over from yesterday, I fed him from a new can of catfood, salmon flavor. He has been so picky lately, refusing to each canned can food, wanting TUNA instead. I don't give him tuna very often, but once I did, it turned him off the cat food. But this morning, he devoured his morning "snackers" -- a moist food supplement to his dry food diet. I made my fruit salad, and put it back into the fridge to chill while I did the dishes and picked up a bit. Now, here I am, sitting at my computer with a bowl of fruit salad in front of me, a glass of water (my first for the day), and the fan running in the background. It's only supposed to be 107 here today, but with high humidity (right now it is 65%). You don't know HOT until you have 110 degrees with 80% humidity day after day. I will shoot the next person who says "but it's a dry heat"--an urban legend that is absolutely NOT TRUE. While I'm myth busting, here is another one: traditional southwest colors are NOT PASTELS. Get over yourselves. Can you imagine ranchers choosing pastel colors? Or Native Americans looking for accessories for the hogan in light pink and coral? No way!

It rained here last night! I haven't found the exact amount, but it was a glorious thunderstorm with rain. The lightening was fun to watch, too. This is the first real rain in my area since before Christmas! And we are expecting rain through Friday. I'm very grateful!

On a personal note: I promised to dance naked the first time it rained. I had thought I should warn my neighbors so they don't accidently look out at the wrong time. I don't think anyone saw me!

Week 27
The Fruits of my Labors

I'm sitting here at about 5 am, enjoying the last of the fruit salad from yesterday, down to just grapes and cherries... yum. The little bit of mint with the slightly tart pineapple juice (unsweetened) is really fabulous. I had the salad with every meal yesterday. It was really great with my lunch sandwich. In fact, lunch was my favorite meal of the day. I had a sandwich on honey grain bread with slices of turkey breast, ham, and pastromi, a whole leaf of lettuce, some slivers of onion, a bit of banana pepper, and mustard. Along with the fruit, I had one ounce of kettle style potatoe chips in jalapeno flavor, and a huge glass of my favorite spicy tea over ice. All for under 10 points. Quite a splurge, and really wonderful.

I've discovered that I have too much fruit in my fridge. I bought a small amount of many things, and I guess I should have known better. I think I'm going to have to adjust my grocery shopping a bit, making two trips a week, one big one, perhaps almost like I do now, and one small and quick one to pick up additional produce and other perishables. For example, I only bought 2 mangos, but I haven't had either one yet. I got 4 banana, which now I see is 2 too many. 4 apples, because I always run out of apples before I want to. The strawberries are gone, but I've still got most of the bag of grapes and bag of cherries. I see more fruit salad in my life this weekend. Maybe I'll freeze some of the cherries for another time.

Today I'm playing hookey. Most people call this taking a weekend, you know, where you don't work and you don't feel guilty. Not me. I'm taking one day, fully aware that I could be working, and that my client would appreciate me working. I'll return to working tomorrow. One day weekends are a typical thing for me. That is why I'm so looking forward to having some serious time off, a couple of weeks. It may happen at the beginning of August now. Don't misunderstand, being freelance I'm grateful to have work lined up. I just also love a bit of downtime.

My mom "invited" me to come and spend August at her house, away from the Arizona heat. I don't know if I will be able to get away for very long, but I'm thinking that maybe by mid-August I will be able to leave here to work from a computer at her house. And of course, Mr. Skooch will be coming with me.

Week 27
Seasonal Eating

I got up at 3 this morning, a bit before my alarm went off, and fixed myself the most glorious fruit salad which I'm eating while I'm typing. Here is my off-the-cuff recipe:

Ingredients:
1 Fuji apple, cut into bite sized bits -- a good eating apple because it is firm, dense and just a bit sweet
1 banana, sliced
15 cherries, halved and pitted
25 grapes
15 pineapple chunks (from a can)
10 strawberries, cut in half
1 kiwi, sliced (very much like the banana)
pineapple juice (from the chunks can)
1 tbs almond slices -- optional
3 peppermint leaves, fresh minced -- optional

Directions:
1. Open the pineapple chunks. Pour a small amount of the juice into a shallow bowl. Add the chunks to the mixing bowl.
2. Cut the apple and banana, dipping the pieces into the pineapple juice before adding them to the mixing bowl.
3. Cut the strawberries, cherries and kiwi, and add to the mixing bowl.
4. Measure the almond slices and place on a cutting board, cutting into slivers before adding to the mixing bowl.
5. Mince the peppermint leaves, add to the mixing bowl.
6. Stir the ingredients. Chill before serving.

Yields: about 6 cups of fruit salad.
I'll figure out the exact points later, after the math part of my brain wakes up. But this should be about 1 point per serving (1 cup).

While I was making this delicious treat for myself, I realized that I have seasonal eating patterns. Thanks to the miracles of world-wide markets, refridgerator shipping, and the strong US dollar, my neighborhood grocery store has all kinds of fruit year round. There is more of it now, of course, with things here in season, and the prices are much better for US grown fruits than the ones from South America in the winter. But it isn't economics that drives my seasonal eating... it's the temperature. One of the ways that I cope with summer in Phoenix is that I fix mostly cool meals for myself. This means I have a lot of sandwiches, finger foods, and salads this time of year. I never use the oven from mid-May through mid-September. Thankfully, I have a George Foreman grill to fix the occasional warm meal without heating up the whole house. It's an interesting realization.

I've been doing some experimenting this week. I make so many sandwiches this time of year, I decided to switch my bread from this diet white with 1 point per slice, to a hefty whole grain that is 3 points for two slices. It is thicker, firmer, and it tastes wonderful. It's a good use of a point. I also discovered a couple of weeks ago that adding mushrooms to a sandwich adds bulk for very few points, making the sandwich more satisfying. It's not that I'm a huge mushroom fan, it was just an experiment that went well.

Here's an example of one that didn't go so well. I thought I would try adding some cheese to my sandwiches to add some fat. I had been trying to balance my macronutrients (fats, carbs, and protiens) and realized that I'm low in fats. I'm not a huge cheese fan, but again, I thought I would try it. I wanted to add some pepper jack cheese, something zingy, but there wasn't a low fat version, and the regular version was too high in points. So I decided on some Monterrey Jack instead, and ended up getting the pre-packaged slices to make it easier to make sure I have accurate portions. I made the first sandwich with the cheese yesterday. About two bites in, I had to disassemble the sandwich to remove the cheese -- I hated it. Maybe I'll try adding some shredded cheese to my next salad to up the fat balance. I'll let you know how that goes!

And another experiement gone wrong: I purchased two of the Smart Choice pizzas because they can be microwaved. I tried one, and it was this rubbery mass with very little taste. I'm sure the problem was with the microwaving and not the pizza itself. I'm going to try one more microwave trick before I give up on them in there. But I do think they would be delicious in the regular oven. So at least I know they will be back in my life in September.

Keep trying new things! The surest way to get bored with your food plan is to keep eating the same things over and over!

Week 27

I've lost 41 pounds!

I've updated my weight chart, but I haven't had the time to upload the new chart to the site. I promise to get to that very soon.

I made a glorious trip to the grocery Monday morning about 5 am, and loaded up with all sorts of great things. It's wonderful to wake up and know that I've got fruit waiting for me! I've also decided to try some of the Smart Choice (Weight Watchers) pizzas because they can be microwaved. I'm not a real microwave fan, but this time of the year in Phoenix, with utility bills at $200 per month, I'm not about to heat up the house with the oven. It's been a few months since I've had a pizza, so I'm going to try it. I'll let you know how it works out.

It feels so good to have all of the groceries I love around. It's such a simple pleasure, but one that I've learned to appreciate in the last six months. It makes me feel rich, and that I live in a universe that is full of abundance. I like the changes in my life.

I promise to write more later.

Week 27
Random Things

I kept forgetting to weigh in last week. I'll get to it this week. :-)

Thanks to Formica for pointing out this article from the New York Times Magazine about diet strategies and Dr. Adkins.

A friend of mine died recently. I've written about my friendship with Linda and what I learned from her life.

I've been hibernating the last few days, crying a bit, sorting through my emotions. I haven't eaten very well. I've stayed within my points, but its' been more eating to avoid starvation than anything like preparing meals. Not well balanced, even over the course of a day, but I have had fruit and veggies. I'm off to the grocery on Monday morning to get a fresh start.

Week 26
Really Proud of Myself

For the last two weeks, I've really been taking some time to reflect on how well I've done the last six months. I'm thrilled to have lost almost 40 pounds at this point, although to be honest, I had hoped to be able to lose 10 pounds a month. From everything I have read, slower is better, so I trust that my body knows what it is doing on that point! But when I look at the attitude and behavior changes, I am pretty darn thrilled. I've learned a new way to feed myself, and how to create balanced meals. I've got a system for grocery shopping (much simpler that it was a few months ago!) and I keep the house stocked with things that are good for me. I've tried all sorts of new foods, some I've loved, others I've never tried again--but I've had an open mind. I've discovered some ingredients that really make a difference in how satisfied I am from my food, a BIG concern for me. I knew that my food was going to have to be tasty and satisfying if I was going to be able to stay on this plan, and I've done it.

For the rest of this weekend, I'm going to post small reminders for myself of things I've learned. I hope that you find them helpful, too.

• Weight Watchers cookbooks are really great resoures. I've also found fabulous recipes from other sources that I expected to be good, like Cooking Light, and some that were surprises, like BettyCrocker.com, and specialty cookbooks in the bargain bin at my local Barnes & Noble.
  
• Snacking urges hit, and it's a good idea to have safe snacking items available. I've started buying carrots for snacking, in the little bag already cut up. I keep a can of light cherry pie filling because it is sweet and one serving is only a couple of points. Microwave popcorn helps with the muchies for something crunchy and salty.
  
• I keep something interesting to drink. While I drink a lot of water, I have found a brand and flavor of tea that I love and is zero points. When I want a snack, most of the time I'm satisfied to make a pitcher of sun tea.
  
• I still drink a Coke, nearly one a day. (I'm allergic to Nutrasweet so diet anything isn't an option.) I never drink a Coke with a meal, I save them for an afternoon snack to enjoy all by itself. I savor every drop. I don't have one every afternoon, some afternoons I'm happy to keep drinking my tea.
  
• About half of the items in my grocery cart are bagged items from the produce section.
  
• I buy leaf lettuce to put on sandwiches and to add to salads. I buy my favorit salad mix, spring mix, in a bag, and supplement it with other produce items. I didn't use to like lettuce on sandwiches, but what I discovered is that I hate iceberg lettuce, and I love the leafy lettuces. I don't mind adding them to my meals.
  
• I always have celery on hand, and I add it to salads, tuna, even my sloppy joe recipe. It adds bulk and is pretty tasteless when added into something else.
  
• Mustard. It didn't use to be my favorite condiment, but because it has zero points, and because the deli style is pretty tasty, I've started adding it to nearly everything I eat. I substitute it for most of the mayo in my tuna sandwich mix. I add it to every sauce I make for meats. It's become a wonderful addition to my meals.
  
• Fruit preserves are wonderful things. They are generally whole fruit with very little or no added sweetners, making them lower in points. A tablespoon can be added to so many things: meat sauces, rice pudding, vanilla yogurt, plain salad dressing. It adds a punch with a minimum of points. I love berries, especially blackberry and raspberry. Except for their short growing season, they are expensive to purchase fresh, so I really like the fact that the preserves are inexpensive. Oh, and I didn't mention putting a tablespoon on a peanut butter sandwich!
  
• I've doubled the number of seasonings and spices in my cupboard. I've tried herbs that I had never heard of, and I like them! I add herbs and spices to nearly every recipe I try, customizing it and making more special. I've found that interesting food tastes are more satifsying to me, and are so easy to do by adding them. When I'm trying to decide what to add to a recipe, I start with a list of general guidelines for using the spices, and then, smell the spice to see if it seems compatible with my recipe. Fresh herbs are even more flavorful--I've got my little herb garden outside my kitchen door so I can add fresh chives, basil, thyme, oregano, peppermint and parsley to my meals. Fresh herbs just look beautiful in food. (If you want to experiment and develop your sense of what goes with what, try adding herbs to cans of soup. You really improve the taste of the soup, and get a chance to try new combinations.)
  
• Sometimes, just two bites of a real dessert is more wonderful than eating the whole thing. I've been known to visit the Cheesecake Factory and order a slice, and eat two or three bites of it. Yep, it's expensive if you consider the cost per bite, but it's even more expensive if you consider the points per slice! I savor the first bite like its the only bite, and then allow myself one, maybe two, more. It's a wonderful way to feel decadent and indulge a bit. (I couldn't buy a whole Sarah Lee cheesecake and trust myself to only eat a few bites if the whole thing was just sitting in my freezer.)
  

Week 26
Six Month Anniversary

As you can see from my posting schedule, part of taking care of myself has meant resting my brain, and allowing my word drought to fix itself naturally. I've been avoiding using the computer, and I've done only a minimum of writing. And it seems to be working. I'm sleeping a lot, and I'm starting to feel more alive than exhausted. I have to admit that for the last few days, I've really been out of groceries, so I've been throwing together things to eat. I'm on target with my points, but my meals have hardly been appetizing, or even well balanced. I've promised myself that I'm going to the grocery Monday so I can fix this problem.

Otherwise, it has been a bit interesting over here. I gave myself a goal for last week, to completely clean my downstairs. I am not finished, but even so, I'm excited about what I have gotten done. I've pulled everything out of the cupboards, the pantry, gotten to the bottom of the laundry (does anyone else have the bottomless pit of hand washing that somehow never seems to be finished?), and sorted out most of the last six months of filing. I didn't say I've actually FILED it, but it is sorted out and ready to be filed. I've thrown out a full gargage bag of papers in the process. I've also been through my clothes a bit more, and have pulled out other things that are now officially too big to wear. It's a great feeling. In fact, the whole process has been very healing. I would have finished it by the weekend except for the extra sleeping I've been doing. When I've been awake, I've been pretty focused on getting things done.

I'm giving myself until Friday to finish the downstairs. I'm taking off Tuesday (playing hookey with a friend) and Thursday, so that really only gives me three days to finish up. Then, I'm going to totally enjoy living in a clean and de-cluttered space over the weekend. I still need to do the same thing upstairs, but I'm going to wait until the following week to start that project. And, based on what has just happened, I'm giving myself two weeks to do that, also.

I have this amazing sense right now that I'm clearing out the skeletons in the closets, that I'm stripping everything to the bare walls. It's a great feeling. I'm taking everything out, and only putting back what I love and use and need. I'm putting almost everything else in a stack to give away. I am putting aside a very small stack of things I'm not ready to part with, and I suppose these will go into a box in the storage area when I'm done. But I'm being very picky about what will be stored, mostly because I have so little storage space. I'm being ruthless, and it feels good.

Funny thing, this paring down is very much like what is going on with my body. My possessions and my body are both slimming down, and both are taking up less space than before. It's a good time for me.

Week 25

I've lost 39 pounds!

After a couple weeks of disappointing results, I'm really excited to report a whole pound loss this week, for a total of 39 pounds so far. I've updated my progress chart, too.

I spent the day away from the computer, totally burnt out on it, and tonight I came on to check my emails. I received one from Weight Watchers, their regular weekly newsletter. As usual, I found several things that were interesting, including a new recipe I'm going to try, and some advice about how to slip in those fruits and veggies in your meals. I really appreciate the quality information they provide for free to anyone who signs up. Even if you aren't doing WW, there are some good recipes and helpful articles. I recommend that you check it out. I'm a registered user (that is free), and I get the newsletter. I don't pay for any of their services, but honestly, they look very nice and I've considered signing up. If you attend meetings, it is a lot cheaper. If you don't attend meetings, they have some great services at about the same price as weekly meetings. Just something to think about.

Week 25
WOW -- 25 Weeks!

I started putting the week number on my entries in the beginning, because the change was so huge that I needed to feel a sense of accomplishment. Moving from week 1 to week 2 was a big deal. When I hit double digit weeks, that was a big deal. And now, here I am at 25 weeks. Twenty five seems like an important number -- in years is it a quarter century, in money it is a quarter. There is no "quarter" importance here, just a realization that I've been doing this for a while now, nearly six months.

If you are just starting your journey, I want to tell you that you can do it, you can go the distance. The first weeks and months have the most natural drama, things are more in-your-face, the changes are more on your mind, and you will watch for outcomes more closely. It has it tough moments. But as you live through them, as you get used to the journey and start to realize the patterns, things start to settle down. You know you can make it through bad decisions, tough situations, and even the dreaded plateau. It's all part of it, and it slowly slips into the background so you can get back to focusing on other things. Don't give up, and remember, it will get more familiar and yes, even easier.

If you have been starting and stopping during the last six months, or if you started off great and dropped off, I want to tell you that you can get back on track. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you slipped, or how much time you spend off the track. You can restart right now (NOW!) and get back to accomplishing your goals. This is a lifestyle change, this is a change that will be with you for the rest of your life. Don't let a little bit of time discourage you. It's better to do it, no matter how long it takes, no matter what age you are... just pick yourself back up and keep looking forward. There are a lot of tomorrows, and each one will be a little better than the last because you are keeping your promise to yourself, you are changing your own life, you are shaping your future. You are making the life you want to live. No one said it would be easy, and you are the only one who can do it. So look yourself in the eye in the mirror each morning, and say "Bless my heart, I'm living MY LIFE MY WAY!" Pay attention to now and forget the days where you were off target. Make today on target. You can do it.

I'm really proud of what I've accomplished so far.

• I've kept my promise to myself.
  
• I've made a huge change to my body and my health.
  
• I've picked myself up when I fell down.
  
• I've learned a lot about nutrition.
  
• I've established some really good eating habits.
  
• I've surrounded myself with the tools I need to keep eating well.
  
• I've been able to keep myself motivated, and not taking my setbacks and failures so seriously that I've gotten discouraged and given up.
  

I've done it. You can do it.

Week 24
I Blew It

Last night, I kept finding myself snacking. I totally blew out my day with my snacks. And it was strange, like I wasn't even aware I was doing it, and then I would "wake up" and find myself wrist deep into some sweet snack. I really blew it. I am in the midst of what I call decompression, the destressing that comes after working too many hours. I'm restless, I'm napping a lot. I'm not too interesting in doing things, but seem to just be killing time. (And my points.) I know this will pass in a few more days. In the meantime, I'm doing my best today to eat healthy things, and to avoid anything that has been known to trigger overeating, like chips. The things that I sometimes have trouble stopping once I've started. None for me today. I am already back on my plan today, and while I don't know what kind of damage I did last night, I'm not worried about it. S******* happens. (Snacking happens.) It's not the end of the world.

Week 24
Taking Care of Myself

It always amazes me that what I do to take care of myself changes. Taking care of myself isn't a set routine, instead, it is finding a balance, which means always adjusting something somewhere. Routines don't usually work for me, unless they are very simple and very flexible.

Over the last six months, I've worked more hours than I usually do in a whole year, yep, more than 2000. It's been a crazy time. I have thought at several times that I should back off, quit some things, do something to get more of my time back. But I didn't. Instead, I thought that I would let this roller coaster ride run its course, and allow myself to be stretched. I've done more than I thought was possible, and I've kept my balance through it. Yea, there have been some rough days and some bad days, as you know from what I've written here. But basically, it has been a good time, a productive time, and I've learned a lot.

Now I'm tired. I've been sleeping 12+ hours each night since ending my project. I've taken a couple of naps. I've been to the grocery, but I can't seem to get my kitchen cleaned up (or the living room, or the bedroom for that matter). I've started making a list of the things that I want to do with my free time. I'm planning on taking a few weeks off now, getting my life back in order, taking on some new projects. It should be fun to do this. In a few weeks, I'll start to think about finding a new project. In the last seven years, something has always come along just when I needed it. I'm not worried a bit.

I made a wonderful dinner tonight. I used my George Foreman grill and did up lamb chops, with a mint sauce made from kiwi, lime juice and peppermint. A side of french cut green beans, and a spoonful of garlic mashed potatoes. It was wonderful. I'll post the recipe for the mint sauce later -- it has almost no points! Later, I had a 1/2 cup of lemon sorbet.

Oh, and I had my first vanilla Coke today. I love vanilla, and I liked it, but I'm not going to start buying only vanilla Coke. It will be nice for a change from time to time, but I still like my Coke. :-D

Week 24
Glub...Glub... Glub...

That's the sound of someone underwater breaking through the surface and gasping for air. At the risk of repeating myself, I've been swamped lately with more work than I can shake a stick at! (or park my butt to finish). It's been a zoo, and I'm so glad to have reached (almost) the end. After tomorrow, I'm a free woman!

I haven't updated my progress chart, and I haven't posted in a while, but I can tell you that when I weighed in Monday morning, I was back at my all-time low, having lost 38 pounds. I'm not sure why I've had so much up and down the last few weeks, but I've been too busy to even think about it. Whatever was happening, I've stayed on course.

And I spent some time last night shopping for some new summer clothes. In the end, after picking out several cute things, I decided not to spend the money on them... I have enough stuff I can wear now. I'd rather spend money when I reach a place where I don't have small enough clothes, a time that is coming quickly! I expect to be out of my current size in another month, so before the summer is over, I'll NEED some smaller things.

I'm still very tired today. I have a bit more work to do today, and some tomorrow morning, but by tomorrow afternoon, I'm finished. Free. Able to sleep in if I want, take a nap in the afternoon. Take a short vacation! Do whatever I want. Oh, and start looking for new work. But I'm not planning to do that for a couple of weeks, actually. I need a vacation from working so much.

I'll update my progress chart soon, and will start the next issue The Skinny, too.

Week 23
Attack of the Giant Bath Towels

Today in my inbox, I received an invitation from Brylane to purchase some super sized bath towels at a very good price. But was I tempted? Nope. Did they think that the person who is measuring her weight loss with a red Ralph Lauren bath towel, whose only goal is to be able to wrap a regular sized towel around her, did they think that person (me) would fall for their low prices on a product that she doesn't plan to use in the future?

Let's be clear about one thing. My goal is to be able to use a regular size towel. Will I actually throw out all of my bath sheets when I reach that goal? No. I have postponed buying new towels until I reach that goal, but as long as the regular towel works, if I decide then that I want the bath sheets just because, then I will get them. At least it won't be just because they are the only thing I can wrap around me.

If you are interesting in their deal, check it out. I've ordered other things from them, and so far, everything has been fine. But I'm not promoting them... just passing along information.

Week 23
I Forgot It Was Monday

I had one of those weird weekends where I woke up every morning and thought it was Monday, and then, Monday rolls around, and I forgot I was supposed to weigh myself first thing. So, I've decided to wait until tomorrow to do the official weighing in. I'll let you know what happens.

This weekend, I made another batch of the delicious rice pudding, this time with mango and raspberry. Here is the recipe:

Rice Pudding with Fruit

Ingredients:
2 cups milk, divided
1 3/4 c water
1/2 c uncooked white rice
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 c sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
Fruit: I used 2 c strawberries, cut into small pieces & 1 tbs blackberry preserves
You can add about two cups of any fruit or combination, or leave out the fruit. You could use fresh or frozen (thawed), too.

Directions:
1. Combine 1 cup of milk, water, rice and salt in a saucepan. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and cover. Let simmer for 30 minutes.
2. Stir in remaining milk, sugar and vanilla. Cover and let simmer for 25 minutes, stirring occasionally until creamy.
3. Remove from the heat, add strawberries and preserves (optional) and let stand for 5 minutes.

Serve warm or chilled. (It is delicious warm!)

Servings: 4 (1 cup each) with 3 points per serving.

The secret to this recipe is letting the rice and milk mixture get to a good boil in the first step. The last time I made this, I cut that step short and ended up with much runnier pudding. This is still not a thick pudding, especially when it is cold. If you warm it back up, it does get a bit thicker.

Try it, you'll love it.

My Fantasy is About to Become Real

It's friggin' hot, sweat is dripping off my bod as I sit at the computer, and I'm having a fantasy of eating frozen grapes while in a cool bath. After that, I'm going to stand naked in front of the huge fan and squirt water into the wind so it blows back on me.

Summer in Phoenix is officially here.

Week 22
Richard Simmons

In my quest to win the battle for my health, I will leave no stone unturned, even the schlocky Richard Simmons. He is such a weight-loss cliche! I'm sure he is a nice man and knows a lot of things that would help me. One thing I'm learning... to keep an open mind, and to not think I'm too good for anything. I'm not.

Last night, when I couldn't get to sleep, I was too tired to find the remote when his infomercial came on the channel I had been watching (The True Story of Blackhawk Down on A&E). They were advertising a new set of videos (forgive me if they aren't actually NEW, they were new to me) that included a disco and latin version of workout tapes. I actually liked the first couple of songs they showed. And then it occured to me... I need to find a regular exercise routine that is FUN and effective, and maybe, just maybe, there is room for a Richard Simmons workout tape in my life.

Here is what I'm thinking about exercise in my ongoing healthy lifestyle: I really want walking, just plain, ordinary strutting-around-my-neighborhood-without-any-special-equipment-except-good-walking-shoes to be my main source of exercise. No muss, no fuss. But I want to supplement that with something that is more challenging. I've purchased a Tae-Bo DVD, and that seems to be quite challenging. And for even more variety, I'm starting to think that perhaps a good musical workout with Mr. Simmons might add some balance to that plan.

Week 22
New Layout

OK, technically it is pretty much the same layout, only new colors. I was sick to death of the colors on the page... these are the colors in a new rug I bought last week from Target (The Targét Boutique to the initiated). I hope it doesn't make anyone sea sick. I'm sure to be tweaking it again soon.

Do comment if you hate it... that would get me motivated to fix it up sooner.

Thanks to Jodi for pointing me to this, and I found a mermaid tail to wear! So cool!